Do you question what it means to be a man in today's world?
Does it seem like the rules have changed or life came at you
in an unexpected way?
As a man, does today's world somehow seem different and
more complicated?
Do you identify with any of these mixed messages and conflicts that I commonly hear from men?
- Must be sensitive and talk about my feelings, but also appear strong and unaffected by the stresses in life
- Must be confident but not too arrogant or too 'cocky'
- Must show love in a certain way or be accused of not caring
- Feel pressure to be successful and ambitious at work, yet criticized for not doing enough around the house or spending enough time with the family
- Expected to be sensitive, caring and 'in touch' with my feminine side but don't want to be seen by others as being weak or vulnerable
- Need to appear like I'm in control and know what to do but end up being shamed and judged if it's perceived 'wrong'
These types of mixed messages can create confusion, frustration, stress and anger. To make matters worse, if this conflict is coupled with other stressful life events such as illness, death of a loved one, divorce, fatherhood issues, childhood abuse (emotional or physical), chronic pain or traumatic events it can lead to deeper more profound levels of suffering such as:
- Difficulties with relationships, family and/or career
- Excessive worry or panicky-like sensations
- Irritability and/or difficulty concentrating
- Sleeplessness
- Alcohol and/or substance use
- Challenges with anger or shame
- Low levels of self-worth and hopelessness
- Persistent thoughts, impulses
- Heightened sensitivity to the possibility of humiliation or scrutiny
- Isolation and loneliness
- Marital affairs or sexual issues
Ignoring or covering up these painful problems only makes things worse and often result in common escape-behaviors, such as gambling, drugs, sexual addictions, eating habits, over working, and others
The good news is that you can address these challenges and develop the skills you need to take charge, bring choice and balance to your life.
I have worked with many men who are successful in certain areas of their lives but 'off' or 'not quite right' in other areas. Admitting you want help is not giving in or a sign of weakness; in fact it's an act of courage and a sign that you are willing to allow yourself to believe that you can be more balanced and happy.
Our work together will allow room for you, in a safe confidential environment, to share what's on your mind and balance the 'shoulds' in your world with what you truly want and need.
I will work diligently to help you feel more connected to your life, to address destructive patterns and ultimately find more pleasure and meaning in life.
My goal is that YOU will achieve a better understanding of your own specific needs while clearly, mindfully and freely expressing them so you can have healthy satisfying relationships. You'll build your own personal understanding of "what it means to be a man".
Click here 'Other Specialties' to learn about my distinct experience with these challenging situations:
- Chronic physical pain
- Single parenting/fatherhood
- Traumatic experiences (PTSD)
- Divorce and life afterward for men
- Chronic or terminal illness
- Men's 'masked' depression
Check out these brief articles about men and therapy
www.nytimes.com/2011/05/22/health/22therapists.html?pagewanted=all
www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200410/therapy-mans-last-stand
Call now to schedule an appointment
I look forward to speaking with you. I can be reached at 510.409.0994, or email douglascarney@comcast.net
See 'Bio' page and 'Other Specialties' page for more on my style and approach.